Odds are you read the title with a hostile tone, which is exactly what I intended. This is how I have needed to hear things, with a hostile tone. That's the only real thing I actually respond to, to be perfectly honest. I've lived rather a cushy life, so things like self-motivation don't come easily to me.
Well, at least it didn't before.
Now, yeah, this kind of thing applies to things like workouts, diet plans, homework accountability etc, but that's not exactly what I'm after.
I'm talking about friendships.
Now, if you're anything like me (and I'm not even remotely bragging by the way), you can talk to and be "friends" with just about anyone. Your average cordial chit-chat can just about make anyone like you. Yeah, I've got my fair share of "haters", but I tend to ignore them in the grand scheme of things. The beautiful curse that accompanies this gift I've had is my inability to trust just about anyone other than my very own mother. Not saying I tell her literally everything, because that would simply be an overload on her sometimes, but I have and always been able to put my life into her hands. It's a mother- daughter bond that I've been blessed to have. *Queue the sweet violin music*
But that's where the list of people I truly trust just about ends. (Though one of my closest friends has shown me a great degree of trustworthiness by showing me he will tell me when I'm out of line and show me how to help myself.)
I've had way too many instances where I realized I couldn't trust someone, and that hurt me greatly. That's usually why I never invest too much time into someone. Not saying I go around, looking over my shoulder constantly. I just don't have much of a reason to trust people.
A lot of people in the past have told me to find new friends, and I've only ever really taken that advice once. It simply didn't work out, but that was also a few years ago. Now, I'm a recently graduated senior, stuck in the middle of nowhere, preparing to say goodbye to the people I had grown so close to over the past four years. Even though I knew this would happen, it still caught me by surprise.
You know that overwhelming sensation where you feel so suffocated with things like homework and schedules? This is almost like the opposite of that: I've got nothing to do, and nowhere to go. My friends are gone (or are going to be), and all I can do is sit here and think about it.
Or so I thought.
This is where I just need to grow up for once. Sitting around like I've been doing, sulking and sleeping all day, doesn't solve anything. Whether or not I even like it, life goes on, even after I start college. Yeah, I'm gonna do my first year online, but I have no intention to stay home like I've been doing. I'm gonna make my first year insane. Try to stop me.
Last time I graduated, I didn't think about my future, I just sat around and sulked like I've been doing these past couple weeks. Well, now I'm just going to grow up. God wouldn't pull me away from what I got used to if it wasn't worth my while. I fully believe that my best days are still ahead of me. It's time to stop pitying myself and wasting my time doing things I won't even remember the next day. It's time to actually live my life.
I'll rip off my band-aid now and get the healing process started.
Friday, June 5, 2015
Wednesday, June 3, 2015
An Extroverted Introvert
So lately everything has been going perfectly to be honest, and yet I'm dead tired and wanting to do nothing. I'm an extroverted introvert (I can be outgoing around people, but then I get very tired basically). I graduated last Saturday, had a party on Sunday, did stuff on Monday and Tuesday that for some stupid reason I can't even remember (for some odd reason I've been very forgetful lately), and today I went to Feed My Starving Children, went to Starbucks to meet an internet friend for the first time and go to her youth group. It was really fun, and everyone was really nice, but now I'm pooped. What's more, tomorrow I have my Bible Study, shopping to do, baseboards to paint, and tears to shed. lol I'm just kidding about that last part. Then on Friday I'm hanging out with a good friend, then the next day I have my best friend's birthday party.
All in all, I'm just downright tired lol Anyway, here's a picture that I took like forever ago that I just found on my laptop. I'm such a dork haha :) peace my homies!
All in all, I'm just downright tired lol Anyway, here's a picture that I took like forever ago that I just found on my laptop. I'm such a dork haha :) peace my homies!
Monday, June 1, 2015
A Good Post On The Way
Hey guys, so I've been insanely busy lately, with my graduation and all. I've got a lot to say but next to no time to say it. Hopefully I'll be able to post tomorrow, but I'm not quite sure. I've got to paint some baseboards then I'm going to see Pitch Perfect with my best friend. Love y'all!
Friday, May 29, 2015
Almost Done
So right now I'm putting the finishing touches on my room, and preparing for my graduation tomorrow. Today I was super productive. I got to sleep in 'till 8, then I mowed the lawn, swept the garage (since I had already cleaned it the day before), went shopping, painted my closet doors and windows white (pictures soon), walked my Pastor's dog, went shopping again, pulled weeds/ did garden work, and did a spot-check on my bedroom. Not bragging lol. Anyway, tomorrow is kind of gonna be a drag, since the ceremony lasts about 3 1/2 hours, and I have to be there one hour early. Not a big fan of pretentious home school mothers either. Yet, I am graduating and I shall be hopeful. My graduation party was moved from tomorrow to Sunday, because of rain. Odds are it will rain Sunday, too, with my luck, but I shall still remain hopeful.
I'm pretty sure I'm gonna kick myself for not writing anything meaningful about the "breathtaking moments before I leap into adulthood", but I don't really care right now lol.
Also, withing the next two weeks I will be doing a picture tour of my house for all of you lovelys to see. We did a lot of renovations and I just feel like sharing, sue me. I'll also be posting graduation pics soon as well. Sorry, my brain is kind of scattered at the moment with all the work I still have yet to do. Love you guys! Pray for me :)
Also, check out the new decal I made :) Enjoy Every Moment
I'm pretty sure I'm gonna kick myself for not writing anything meaningful about the "breathtaking moments before I leap into adulthood", but I don't really care right now lol.
Also, withing the next two weeks I will be doing a picture tour of my house for all of you lovelys to see. We did a lot of renovations and I just feel like sharing, sue me. I'll also be posting graduation pics soon as well. Sorry, my brain is kind of scattered at the moment with all the work I still have yet to do. Love you guys! Pray for me :)
Nope, didn't do my hair. I'm happy. 
Also, check out the new decal I made :) Enjoy Every Moment
Monday, May 25, 2015
I. Made. It.
So the pressure is officially on. I start one of my new jobs tomorrow and then I'm kicking myself into gear. I graduate officially this coming Saturday, then I guess everything just changes all over again. Anyway, I've been going to this youth group for highschoolers and it ended last Sunday. It was really sad and I cried a lot.
It got me thinking about how much has changed over the years.
The first thing I thought about was my first night of high school group. It had been a long day, and I was really nervous to go. All my middle school friends were either not coming, or still in middle school. I had no idea what was going to happen. Truth be told, I didn't have a lot of friends at the time, and that made things worse. My first night was downright horrible. I hated it. There were two people that singled me out as the home schooled weirdo, and they were relentless. I went home feeling like I just didn't belong there. Everything I knew had changed, and I wanted to go back to my Jr. high group again.
So, that was the beginning of the school year, and I had recently decided that I wasn't going to go to public school and I was just generally going through a lot at the time. It was mostly dealing with consequences for things I had done wrong the previous summer, but it sucked nonetheless.
Anyway, I went home that night feeling super crappy and generally defeated. I'd felt poorly before, like everyone else has, but this feeling was very different. (I've always had that habit of pitying myself.) It came from deep within my stomach and it felt heavy. I couldn't stop frowning, and I mean, real frowning. I wanted to cry, but I was also too angry to cry. I felt like if I did, the people who were jerks to me would win, even though I wasn't even around them anymore. Anger genuinely flowed through me, giving me chills. I wanted to make everyone regret ever giving me what I deserve (and also didn't deserve), and I wanted to make them burn.
I wanted to kill myself.
No joke, that's what went through my mind. I had no care for the future in any way. I wanted to stick it to everyone. I didn't even stop and think about how I wouldn't even be able to see my revenge.
So I got a belt and put it around my neck. I began to choke myself.
It felt so horrible, physical pain aside.
This went on for maybe two minutes of me not being able to breathe. My head was pounding and my nose was bleeding like crazy. I had to throw out the pants and shirt I was wearing it was so bad.
Then I let go. I needed to breathe. I just had to. I pulled the belt off and started to cry uncontrollably. My mom came into my room, and seeing the mess I was, asked me what was wrong. I told her that I had a bad night and I was just moody. I told her that I cried so hard I got a bloody nose, too.
Needless to say, I survived that night.
Looking back at the feelings I felt during that rough time and comparing with the ones I'm feeling now, truly amaze me. The people I wanted nothing to do with, became some of the most important people in my life. I hated going to that youth group every Sunday night for the entire first year, and now I don't want to leave it. I built my nest there, and now it's time for it to end.
Just sitting here typing this, I'm trying not to cry. If any of you guys that I know from high school group are reading this, I need you to know how important you are to me. You guys literally helped keep me alive, no joke. God put you guys here and put me with you guys for a reason. I can't imagine where I would be if I never knew any of you. (I am aware that realistically maybe two of you guys even read my blog, but whatever.) You all are my family. No doubt about it.
So, all that's left to think about is my future. I had made the mistake of not considering the future when I went into high school, and I don't intend to make that mistake again (even though everything turned out okay). Truth be told, I'm more scared than I'll admit, about growing up. (I've got Stressed Out by Twenty- One Pilots playing in my head right now.) It makes me sad. It's not hard for me to say goodbye to people sometimes, but this is different. I don't want to get used to not seeing my old friends. I don't ever want this to end, even though I know it does and how it does.
Anyway, despite that, I intend to play my cards right this time around. I've got another four more years of school, just like high school. Maybe I can get this right.
So, all in all, everything changed and everything changes. To the girl on that night who told herself you're not going to make it, nothing good can come from this, killing yourself is the answer, you won't even make it out of high school, I have one thing I want to say:
I made it.
Maybe these next four years won't be so bad.
It got me thinking about how much has changed over the years.
The first thing I thought about was my first night of high school group. It had been a long day, and I was really nervous to go. All my middle school friends were either not coming, or still in middle school. I had no idea what was going to happen. Truth be told, I didn't have a lot of friends at the time, and that made things worse. My first night was downright horrible. I hated it. There were two people that singled me out as the home schooled weirdo, and they were relentless. I went home feeling like I just didn't belong there. Everything I knew had changed, and I wanted to go back to my Jr. high group again.
So, that was the beginning of the school year, and I had recently decided that I wasn't going to go to public school and I was just generally going through a lot at the time. It was mostly dealing with consequences for things I had done wrong the previous summer, but it sucked nonetheless.
Anyway, I went home that night feeling super crappy and generally defeated. I'd felt poorly before, like everyone else has, but this feeling was very different. (I've always had that habit of pitying myself.) It came from deep within my stomach and it felt heavy. I couldn't stop frowning, and I mean, real frowning. I wanted to cry, but I was also too angry to cry. I felt like if I did, the people who were jerks to me would win, even though I wasn't even around them anymore. Anger genuinely flowed through me, giving me chills. I wanted to make everyone regret ever giving me what I deserve (and also didn't deserve), and I wanted to make them burn.
I wanted to kill myself.
No joke, that's what went through my mind. I had no care for the future in any way. I wanted to stick it to everyone. I didn't even stop and think about how I wouldn't even be able to see my revenge.
So I got a belt and put it around my neck. I began to choke myself.
It felt so horrible, physical pain aside.
This went on for maybe two minutes of me not being able to breathe. My head was pounding and my nose was bleeding like crazy. I had to throw out the pants and shirt I was wearing it was so bad.
Then I let go. I needed to breathe. I just had to. I pulled the belt off and started to cry uncontrollably. My mom came into my room, and seeing the mess I was, asked me what was wrong. I told her that I had a bad night and I was just moody. I told her that I cried so hard I got a bloody nose, too.
Needless to say, I survived that night.
Looking back at the feelings I felt during that rough time and comparing with the ones I'm feeling now, truly amaze me. The people I wanted nothing to do with, became some of the most important people in my life. I hated going to that youth group every Sunday night for the entire first year, and now I don't want to leave it. I built my nest there, and now it's time for it to end.
Just sitting here typing this, I'm trying not to cry. If any of you guys that I know from high school group are reading this, I need you to know how important you are to me. You guys literally helped keep me alive, no joke. God put you guys here and put me with you guys for a reason. I can't imagine where I would be if I never knew any of you. (I am aware that realistically maybe two of you guys even read my blog, but whatever.) You all are my family. No doubt about it.
So, all that's left to think about is my future. I had made the mistake of not considering the future when I went into high school, and I don't intend to make that mistake again (even though everything turned out okay). Truth be told, I'm more scared than I'll admit, about growing up. (I've got Stressed Out by Twenty- One Pilots playing in my head right now.) It makes me sad. It's not hard for me to say goodbye to people sometimes, but this is different. I don't want to get used to not seeing my old friends. I don't ever want this to end, even though I know it does and how it does.
Anyway, despite that, I intend to play my cards right this time around. I've got another four more years of school, just like high school. Maybe I can get this right.
So, all in all, everything changed and everything changes. To the girl on that night who told herself you're not going to make it, nothing good can come from this, killing yourself is the answer, you won't even make it out of high school, I have one thing I want to say:
I made it.
Maybe these next four years won't be so bad.
Wednesday, May 20, 2015
I Require a Little Bit of Insanity
So, for a few months now, I have been able to officially call myself an artist.
Truth be told, I've always hated artists, with their metaphors and their so-called "deep meanings". Even after being able to call myself an artist I still believe that a lot of artists are full of it. Yeah, people are paying millions of dollars for scribbles made by someone who sold his first legitimately good sketches to a wine-sipping pretentious debonair (you can tell I've thought about this before), who had no idea what he was getting into, but also didn't care because of his shining trust fund.
Anyway, moving away from my rant. Onto my favorite type of art.
I love anything that's insane.
All of my favorite artists were insane. I might sound weird for saying it, but it's true. From Edgar Allen Poe to Nikola Tesla (and yes, I am aware I just mentioned an artist and an inventor, but they're still artists to me), I just happen to love the insane ones. In my mind, they're the ones who see things more beautifully. Not to sound lame, but it's just beautiful to see someone make something so amazing despite their pain.
One thing I've realized about being an artist is, I get really frustrated a lot. I get tense, and my whole brain kinda just shuts down. I've learned that making something, whether it's a sketch or a sculpture, helps me out. Not saying it's a special feeling or anything, it just helps calm me down. I've actually begun to figure out why it works too. The thing is, I want people to be proud of me, like, all the time. I feel like unless I'm being useful or artsy, people might not need me. When I make something, I feel like I've bought myself a little more time. It's not some kind of horrible thing, but it makes sense to me now.
So how do I make what I make?
Simply through insanity. Sometimes, I just sit and let my eyes kind of zone out, while I simply imagine things. Occasionally, I'll put in my headphones and play the dub-step violin at full blast, and let my imagination take it's course. When I'm alone and feel like crying, I do it. Even if I have no reason why. I've I feel like breaking something, I do it. That's my insanity. I go with my immediate feelings and let great things happen. It's honestly the most freeing thing I've ever felt. I don't need to compose myself. I'm a freaking artist. lol There's something very truly amazing when you can get past the idea that you have to put on airs to be an artist. That's what traps you.
I just want to clarify that when I say artist, I don't mean just painters or sketchers. I know I'm about to sound cheesy, but everything you do originally is an art. If you make your bed a certain way, that's an art. It really doesn't matter. It's what makes you different from everyone else. God gave you an appearance different from everyone else (unless I am speaking to identical twins), so that part was already taken care of. Your personality is an art.
My personality has changed a lot over the years, and I think I've finally settled on my final one. I've learned to care about what people think, but only to an extent. I will be polite and friendly, but if someone has a problem with me, that's their problem. I can't change them either, and I don't care much to do so anyway. In a way, it's my I-don't-really-care personality. It sounds bad, but it's really not. It's helped my artwork, too, in a way. I still get frustrated, but it's helped ease the cranial tension as I so weirdly call it.
Anyway, that's all I really wanted to say.
Oh! And here's Leonardo Da Vinci's last words,
"I have offended God and Mankind, by doing so little with my life".
Here's some of my art :)
I started writing a story called The Unlikely. I took this pic and a friend wanted a copy. It made me happy. Another friend still wants me to finish the book. I just might :)
Started drawing a tree, ended up with nerve fibers...typical. lol
Photo taken by Nicholas Bruno. His pictures always inspire me, though they're kind of dark.
Decorating your room is an art, too. Though, this was well over a year ago lol. I'm thinking of doing a tour of my home for my next post :) Just pics though lol
In the dark with just the flash on. :)
Artists are messy. I feel better when I have at least one mess, though I also try to keep a clean room. It's confusing :P
A pic of the pergola in my back yard. :)
Made this out of old sheet music.
My first bird. :) About a year ago.
A leaf :)
Plan to get this tattooed behind my ear within this year :)
I have a habit of doodling on my arm lol it's how I roll when I don't have my prized sketchbook. :P
Took this in the car. :) Condensation
Side note: Follow me on Pinterest! My name is Kat Cremeans on it :)
Truth be told, I've always hated artists, with their metaphors and their so-called "deep meanings". Even after being able to call myself an artist I still believe that a lot of artists are full of it. Yeah, people are paying millions of dollars for scribbles made by someone who sold his first legitimately good sketches to a wine-sipping pretentious debonair (you can tell I've thought about this before), who had no idea what he was getting into, but also didn't care because of his shining trust fund.
Anyway, moving away from my rant. Onto my favorite type of art.
I love anything that's insane.
All of my favorite artists were insane. I might sound weird for saying it, but it's true. From Edgar Allen Poe to Nikola Tesla (and yes, I am aware I just mentioned an artist and an inventor, but they're still artists to me), I just happen to love the insane ones. In my mind, they're the ones who see things more beautifully. Not to sound lame, but it's just beautiful to see someone make something so amazing despite their pain.
One thing I've realized about being an artist is, I get really frustrated a lot. I get tense, and my whole brain kinda just shuts down. I've learned that making something, whether it's a sketch or a sculpture, helps me out. Not saying it's a special feeling or anything, it just helps calm me down. I've actually begun to figure out why it works too. The thing is, I want people to be proud of me, like, all the time. I feel like unless I'm being useful or artsy, people might not need me. When I make something, I feel like I've bought myself a little more time. It's not some kind of horrible thing, but it makes sense to me now.
So how do I make what I make?
Simply through insanity. Sometimes, I just sit and let my eyes kind of zone out, while I simply imagine things. Occasionally, I'll put in my headphones and play the dub-step violin at full blast, and let my imagination take it's course. When I'm alone and feel like crying, I do it. Even if I have no reason why. I've I feel like breaking something, I do it. That's my insanity. I go with my immediate feelings and let great things happen. It's honestly the most freeing thing I've ever felt. I don't need to compose myself. I'm a freaking artist. lol There's something very truly amazing when you can get past the idea that you have to put on airs to be an artist. That's what traps you.
I just want to clarify that when I say artist, I don't mean just painters or sketchers. I know I'm about to sound cheesy, but everything you do originally is an art. If you make your bed a certain way, that's an art. It really doesn't matter. It's what makes you different from everyone else. God gave you an appearance different from everyone else (unless I am speaking to identical twins), so that part was already taken care of. Your personality is an art.
My personality has changed a lot over the years, and I think I've finally settled on my final one. I've learned to care about what people think, but only to an extent. I will be polite and friendly, but if someone has a problem with me, that's their problem. I can't change them either, and I don't care much to do so anyway. In a way, it's my I-don't-really-care personality. It sounds bad, but it's really not. It's helped my artwork, too, in a way. I still get frustrated, but it's helped ease the cranial tension as I so weirdly call it.
Anyway, that's all I really wanted to say.
Oh! And here's Leonardo Da Vinci's last words,
"I have offended God and Mankind, by doing so little with my life".
Here's some of my art :)
Side note: Follow me on Pinterest! My name is Kat Cremeans on it :)
Wednesday, April 22, 2015
Natural Selection Day
So one of the best possible things to happen to an artist (aside from being handed 20 million in cold, hard cash for a sketch), is to have someone else be inspired to create something based on what you've created. Lucky for me, this happened. A friend of mine, Dayle, who has her own blog called Popcorn and Indie Flicks (link at the bottom), recently wrote this little gem based on this picture I drew YESTERDAY. I personally love the story. Enjoy!
16.
Most girl’s get a party, maybe a car, for their sweet sixteen. What do I get? A mask tightly on my eyes, chains around my hands, and one last goodbye from my parents before being dropped into the ocean. The chain that tug into my wrists, attached to an anchor that is meant to drag me as far as it can take until I can finally break free.
My mom calls it a test, my dad dad calls it Natural Selection day, the rest of the kingdom calls it a too soon death.
I stand at the edge of the pier. The wind is light and the sky bright. If it wasn’t Natural Selection day for me, than maybe I would be able to enjoy the day. But it was. And when I looked around me, I could tell that everyone was just as nervous. Half the kingdom was out today - which was very rare - their fists hanging close to their sides, clenched and knuckles white. Natural Selection day was never a big deal in Thelacia, people turned 16 almost once a week. But with me being the Kings daughter, everyone assumed I would get an automatic bypass at Natural Selection day.They all found out last week, when the guards made the announcement, that I would have it no different than every 16 year old in Thelacia.
Jasper, my best friend, stood to the back of me. This was something he had to do a lot, drop teenagers into the ocean. But he was more nervous than usual. And I knew it was because it was me who was tied to the anchor.
Jasper swallowed the lump that stuck in his throat, he only had about 3 minutes before he was suppose to push the button that released the boards under me and dropped me far below. “We went through this last year remember?” He said trying to sound convincing, but his voice cracking gave away the fact that he knew the odds of me coming out were low. Despite being the King and Queen’s daughter, I was never the fastest swimmer. Mermaid or not, I was always simply an ‘okay’ swimmer. I can’t reply because I look over my shoulder and I see my mom standing a few inches from me, the dark purple mask in her hands. I give Jasper the crack of a smile but he’s lost his cool and he’s gone pale. Only a few more seconds.
My mom ties the mask over my eyes and with the width of it, it falls over my nose in the process. She hums an enchantment over the mask, the one she has had memorized since she was 17. It is meant to keep the mask smothered against the persons face, slowly suffocating them from the second it touches water till the second it reaches the air.
She traces my bare shoulder lightly, I can hear the quietness of her tears that stands out in the silence of everyone holding their breath. The Queen’s quiet sobs and the crash of the waves are the only thing that can be heard. I count down in my head, I only had 10 seconds till I dropped from the moment the enchantment was placed, I had learned that from counting while I watched countless other teens drop, some never returning.
I keep my eyes shut so I can pretend that the mask isn’t on
00:10
I picture myself coming up from the ocean, the sight relief on Jasper and Eva’s face
00:08
The laugh that my father had been holding in since I dropped as he smiles and yells in his loud voice that sends fishes swimming “I knew you could do it Aryla!”
00:06
The warmth that surges through me as I remember that now that I am 16 and have made it past Natural Selection Day, I can finally leave Thelacia
00:04
Jasper’s comforting arms
00:02
Oxygen
00:00
There isn’t a second delay, just like I had talked about with Jasper, as soon as the time hit 00:00, I was gone. The cold feeling of the ocean surrounded me and panic already controlled me like it had been injected into my bloodstream, keeping me alive.
I flicked my legs furiously, waiting for the transformation to kick in and for my legs to change to my tail. I thrash my hands, yanking on the chains and trying to figure out how they expected me to unleash myself when I can’t see and I’m quickly being pulled to the bottom of the ocean. At this rate, even if I managed to get the chains off, there was no way I could make it to the top before I lost consciousness.
My legs change but with the anchor still tied to me, swimming up isn’t an option. I pull at my arm back, curling myself tightly into a ball and trying to slip at least one arm out. As soon as I have one out then I can do it. The metal tears at my skin, ripping it open as I tug relentless against it. My lungs start to burn and I feel myself getting lightheaded.
Suddenly I feel a hand on my shoulder, I know who it is before I can hear his voice, it’s Jasper. He wraps his arm under my shoulder and fights to hold me up against the anchor weighing me down. He slams something against the chains and within a few seconds, one of my hands are free. I throw my hand to the mask and Jasper whispers something barely audible. The reverse spell. The mask flies off of me and goes straight up, back to the top of the ocean.
In only two occasions is it suppose to return to the top without the person wearing it. If the reverse spell was said while the current possessor of the mask touched it with their fingertips, or the person wearing it failed to free themselves and died. Since the reverse spell was suppose to be unknown by anyone but the Queen, everyone’s obvious guess would be that I had died. That that it would have come as a shocker to anyone but my father, they all assumed I wouldn’t make it out.
“Come on, Eva is waiting for us at the end of the border” Jasper insisted and tugged at my wrist. I knew I had to get going. My father wouldn’t let the guards stop searching until they found my body, proof that I hadn’t somehow learned the reverse spell.
I slid my other hand out and I grabbed Jasper’s. I tensed up for a minute, it’s not like I wanted to stay in Thelacia, but leaving, especially leaving and letting my parents think I died, was never part of the plan. Well until two weeks ago.
I ignore the pain that suddenly hit me when I looked down at my wrists and saw tears in my skin from the chains, and I try to keep up with Jasper as we frantically swim toward the border. Once we’re across it, it didn’t matter what they did, we were out of Thelacia and therefore I was no longer Princess.
I take a look back at the anchor that dropped farther down into the ocean. I think of them finding the loose chains and trying to piece together what happened. I wouldn’t have made it if we didn’t do this, I wouldn’t have been able to break free. If we didn’t do this than I would die, and if we did use the reverse spell, but didn’t get out of Thelacia, than I would have been sent to execution anyway, Jasper would have been sent too.
So I take the moment while I am still in Thelacia borders, to say a silent prayer that everything goes well for the rest of the kingdom, and I thank the heavens for my mother, the one who didn’t stand by and watch me die, the one who gave me the reverse spell.
http://popcornandindieflicks.blogspot.com/
16.
Most girl’s get a party, maybe a car, for their sweet sixteen. What do I get? A mask tightly on my eyes, chains around my hands, and one last goodbye from my parents before being dropped into the ocean. The chain that tug into my wrists, attached to an anchor that is meant to drag me as far as it can take until I can finally break free.
My mom calls it a test, my dad dad calls it Natural Selection day, the rest of the kingdom calls it a too soon death.
I stand at the edge of the pier. The wind is light and the sky bright. If it wasn’t Natural Selection day for me, than maybe I would be able to enjoy the day. But it was. And when I looked around me, I could tell that everyone was just as nervous. Half the kingdom was out today - which was very rare - their fists hanging close to their sides, clenched and knuckles white. Natural Selection day was never a big deal in Thelacia, people turned 16 almost once a week. But with me being the Kings daughter, everyone assumed I would get an automatic bypass at Natural Selection day.They all found out last week, when the guards made the announcement, that I would have it no different than every 16 year old in Thelacia.
Jasper, my best friend, stood to the back of me. This was something he had to do a lot, drop teenagers into the ocean. But he was more nervous than usual. And I knew it was because it was me who was tied to the anchor.
Jasper swallowed the lump that stuck in his throat, he only had about 3 minutes before he was suppose to push the button that released the boards under me and dropped me far below. “We went through this last year remember?” He said trying to sound convincing, but his voice cracking gave away the fact that he knew the odds of me coming out were low. Despite being the King and Queen’s daughter, I was never the fastest swimmer. Mermaid or not, I was always simply an ‘okay’ swimmer. I can’t reply because I look over my shoulder and I see my mom standing a few inches from me, the dark purple mask in her hands. I give Jasper the crack of a smile but he’s lost his cool and he’s gone pale. Only a few more seconds.
My mom ties the mask over my eyes and with the width of it, it falls over my nose in the process. She hums an enchantment over the mask, the one she has had memorized since she was 17. It is meant to keep the mask smothered against the persons face, slowly suffocating them from the second it touches water till the second it reaches the air.
She traces my bare shoulder lightly, I can hear the quietness of her tears that stands out in the silence of everyone holding their breath. The Queen’s quiet sobs and the crash of the waves are the only thing that can be heard. I count down in my head, I only had 10 seconds till I dropped from the moment the enchantment was placed, I had learned that from counting while I watched countless other teens drop, some never returning.
I keep my eyes shut so I can pretend that the mask isn’t on
00:10
I picture myself coming up from the ocean, the sight relief on Jasper and Eva’s face
00:08
The laugh that my father had been holding in since I dropped as he smiles and yells in his loud voice that sends fishes swimming “I knew you could do it Aryla!”
00:06
The warmth that surges through me as I remember that now that I am 16 and have made it past Natural Selection Day, I can finally leave Thelacia
00:04
Jasper’s comforting arms
00:02
Oxygen
00:00
There isn’t a second delay, just like I had talked about with Jasper, as soon as the time hit 00:00, I was gone. The cold feeling of the ocean surrounded me and panic already controlled me like it had been injected into my bloodstream, keeping me alive.
I flicked my legs furiously, waiting for the transformation to kick in and for my legs to change to my tail. I thrash my hands, yanking on the chains and trying to figure out how they expected me to unleash myself when I can’t see and I’m quickly being pulled to the bottom of the ocean. At this rate, even if I managed to get the chains off, there was no way I could make it to the top before I lost consciousness.
My legs change but with the anchor still tied to me, swimming up isn’t an option. I pull at my arm back, curling myself tightly into a ball and trying to slip at least one arm out. As soon as I have one out then I can do it. The metal tears at my skin, ripping it open as I tug relentless against it. My lungs start to burn and I feel myself getting lightheaded.
Suddenly I feel a hand on my shoulder, I know who it is before I can hear his voice, it’s Jasper. He wraps his arm under my shoulder and fights to hold me up against the anchor weighing me down. He slams something against the chains and within a few seconds, one of my hands are free. I throw my hand to the mask and Jasper whispers something barely audible. The reverse spell. The mask flies off of me and goes straight up, back to the top of the ocean.
In only two occasions is it suppose to return to the top without the person wearing it. If the reverse spell was said while the current possessor of the mask touched it with their fingertips, or the person wearing it failed to free themselves and died. Since the reverse spell was suppose to be unknown by anyone but the Queen, everyone’s obvious guess would be that I had died. That that it would have come as a shocker to anyone but my father, they all assumed I wouldn’t make it out.
“Come on, Eva is waiting for us at the end of the border” Jasper insisted and tugged at my wrist. I knew I had to get going. My father wouldn’t let the guards stop searching until they found my body, proof that I hadn’t somehow learned the reverse spell.
I slid my other hand out and I grabbed Jasper’s. I tensed up for a minute, it’s not like I wanted to stay in Thelacia, but leaving, especially leaving and letting my parents think I died, was never part of the plan. Well until two weeks ago.
I ignore the pain that suddenly hit me when I looked down at my wrists and saw tears in my skin from the chains, and I try to keep up with Jasper as we frantically swim toward the border. Once we’re across it, it didn’t matter what they did, we were out of Thelacia and therefore I was no longer Princess.
I take a look back at the anchor that dropped farther down into the ocean. I think of them finding the loose chains and trying to piece together what happened. I wouldn’t have made it if we didn’t do this, I wouldn’t have been able to break free. If we didn’t do this than I would die, and if we did use the reverse spell, but didn’t get out of Thelacia, than I would have been sent to execution anyway, Jasper would have been sent too.
So I take the moment while I am still in Thelacia borders, to say a silent prayer that everything goes well for the rest of the kingdom, and I thank the heavens for my mother, the one who didn’t stand by and watch me die, the one who gave me the reverse spell.
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