I Require a Little Bit of Insanity

     So, for a few months now, I have been able to officially call myself an artist.
     Truth be told, I've always hated artists, with their metaphors and their so-called "deep meanings". Even after being able to call myself an artist I still believe that a lot of artists are full of it. Yeah, people are paying millions of dollars for scribbles made by someone who sold his first legitimately good sketches to a wine-sipping pretentious debonair (you can tell I've thought about this before), who had no idea what he was getting into, but also didn't care because of his shining trust fund.
    Anyway, moving away from my rant. Onto my favorite type of art.
    I love anything that's insane.
    All of my favorite artists were insane. I might sound weird for saying it, but it's true. From Edgar Allen Poe to Nikola Tesla (and yes, I am aware I just mentioned an artist and an inventor, but they're still artists to me), I just happen to love the insane ones. In my mind, they're the ones who see things more beautifully. Not to sound lame, but it's just beautiful to see someone make something so amazing despite their pain.
     One thing I've realized about being an artist is, I get really frustrated a lot. I get tense, and my whole brain kinda just shuts down. I've learned that making something, whether it's a sketch or a sculpture, helps me out. Not saying it's a special feeling or anything, it just helps calm me down. I've actually begun to figure out why it works too. The thing is, I want people to be proud of me, like, all the time. I feel like unless I'm being useful or artsy, people might not need me. When I make something, I feel like I've bought myself a little more time. It's not some kind of horrible thing, but it makes sense to me now.
     So how do I make what I make?
     Simply through insanity. Sometimes, I just sit and let my eyes kind of zone out, while I simply imagine things. Occasionally, I'll put in my headphones and play the dub-step violin at full blast, and let my imagination take it's course. When I'm alone and feel like crying, I do it. Even if I have no reason why. I've I feel like breaking something, I do it. That's my insanity. I go with my immediate feelings and let great things happen. It's honestly the most freeing thing I've ever felt. I don't need to compose myself. I'm a freaking artist. lol There's something very truly amazing when you can get past the idea that you have to put on airs to be an artist. That's what traps you.
     I just want to clarify that when I say artist, I don't mean just painters or sketchers. I know I'm about to sound cheesy, but everything you do originally is an art. If you make your bed a certain way, that's an art. It really doesn't matter. It's what makes you different from everyone else. God gave you an appearance different from everyone else (unless I am speaking to identical twins), so that part was already taken care of. Your personality is an art.
     My personality has changed a lot over the years, and I think I've finally settled on my final one. I've learned to care about what people think, but only to an extent. I will be polite and friendly, but if someone has a problem with me, that's their problem. I can't change them either, and I don't care much to do so anyway. In a way, it's my I-don't-really-care personality. It sounds bad, but it's really not. It's helped my artwork, too, in a way. I still get frustrated, but it's helped ease the cranial tension as I so weirdly call it.
     Anyway, that's all I really wanted to say.
    Oh! And here's Leonardo Da Vinci's last words,
    "I have offended God and Mankind, by doing so little with my life".

Here's some of my art :)

 I started writing a story called The Unlikely. I took this pic and a friend wanted a copy. It made me happy. Another friend still wants me to finish the book. I just might :)

 Started drawing a tree, ended up with nerve fibers...typical. lol

 Photo taken by Nicholas Bruno. His pictures always inspire me, though they're kind of dark.

 Decorating your room is an art, too. Though, this was well over a year ago lol. I'm thinking of doing a tour of my home for my next post :) Just pics though lol

 In the dark with just the flash on. :)

 Artists are messy. I feel better when I have at least one mess, though I also try to keep a clean room. It's confusing :P

 A pic of the pergola in my back yard. :)

Made this out of old sheet music.

 My first bird. :) About a year ago.

 A leaf :)

 Plan to get this tattooed behind my ear within this year :)

 I have a habit of doodling on my arm lol it's how I roll when I don't have my prized sketchbook. :P

Took this in the car. :) Condensation








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