Sunday, June 28, 2015

My Flaws

     So this has never been a post I anticipated writing, but I have my reasons. One thing I find very important in a relationship that has any real value, is knowing each others flaws. Anybody can show off their good sides, but in my opinion you don't really know someone until you know the whole package. So without further adieu, here are my flaws and/or not the greatest things about me.

1. I am not a trusting person. It's hard for me to believe I can trust someone. I don't believe that people will always be there for me or are as sincere as they say. I believe that there is some good in everyone, but no one is going to care more about you as much as your parents, God, and yourself.
2. I over-think almost everything. I try to come across as a laid back, chill girl, but I almost always let myself get worried over just about anything.
3. I don't stay in one place for very long without beginning to hate it or just need a change of scenery.
4. Despite #3, I get incredibly nostalgic incredibly easily and when I move forward in my life, I almost always get depressed for a short time and worry about whether or not I'm making a huge mistake. I am always unsure of my decisions, though I pretend like I'm not.
5. I am absolutely terrified of falling in love. When people say that they love me, I do my absolute best to take it lightly. They may be sincere, but I never want to believe it. Now I mean this romantically of course. I believe my family loves me and I love them back. That's what I'm used to. I fell in love once, and it landed me in three months of meeting with an elder's wife every Tuesday for three months, then another full year of pain afterwards. Not being consumed in that ridiculous pain is something very new to me. If you love me, don't say it (don't show me that you mean it), until we are more sure of ourselves.
6. I am two-faced. I wish I wasn't, but I can never be truly real with just anyone.
7. I have no idea what I am doing with my life. Yeah, I'm going to college and I know what career I intend to have, but when it comes to just about everything else, I am clueless.
8. I'm losing my creativity. I used to be able to write songs and draw pictures at the drop of a hat, but lately it's like everything is losing it's color. I'm even more clueless.
9. I need to be needed. My self-worth comes directly from people noticing my work and being proud of me. Most of my motivation comes from people saying I can't do something, and my value comes from proving them wrong. I hate to disappoint.


Anyway, those are 9 things about me that I wouldn't really brag about. Hope you liked it!  

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